Death by Duvet


Many men spend their time doing everything possible to avoid accepting what is really going on for them physically, mentally and emotionally. We've been conditioned to believe admitting we're lost and struggling is a sign of failure. 'Keep your dirty laundry to yourself', 'Fake it until you make it' and other crass comments that have been embedded deep into our subconscious swirl around and around, keeping us stuck.

These beliefs create stress and anxiety for millions of men. Often it is not until we reach breaking point that we finally seek help, and often, by then there is so much to deal with the journey feels nigh on impossible to navigate. Where do you start when procrastination is wreaking havoc in your personal and business life and all you want to do is sleep?

Night after night your mind races, constantly trying to process......'This wasn't supposed to happen! Where did it all go wrong? I feel so miserable, no one understands.'

The chatter in your head goes on and on. Through squinted eyes you peer at the clock, 3.30am!!! 4.30am!!! 5.30am!!! Eventually the noise subsides, your eye lids feel heavy, the chirping of the birds begins to fade and then BRRRRRR..... BRRRRRRR.... BRRRRRRRR... BRRRRRRR!!! It's 6.30am and the alarm is letting you know it's time to get up! 

You hit Snooze and try to pretend you didn't hear it. The duvet is like a death grip. Every ounce of strength is needed to stick one leg out. But you feel yourself drifting back to sleep as the duvet's warmth and coziness envelopes your tired body. 

Suddenly you sit bolt upright! You've overslept AGAIN!!!

The kids are messing about and not getting dressed. You burn the toast and spill coffee on the only clean shirt you could find! After bundling the kids into the car and dropping them at Breakfast Club still wearing their slippers, you arrive 30 minutes late for work for the third time that week.

Exhausted, frustrated and miserable you sit at your desk just staring at the list of things you need to do today. Gulping down the strongest coffee you can find in the canteen, praying you'll stay awake until 5pm. After a few phone calls you check your phone for missed messages. A funny notification pops up on Facebook! And before you know it it's lunchtime and you've done nothing but scroll through your Newsfeed and check Amazon for a book that might be able to help you.

You try to join in the office banter while spending inordinate amounts of time walking back and forth to the photocopier wondering what life is all about.

Procrastination Won, Tasks completed Nil. 

You resolve to make a fresh start tomorrow, put your 'To do' list back in the drawer and head home, grabbing some junk food on the way for tea. Cooking is just too much effort! Screaming at the kids to get to bed has become a normal routine and overwhelm has become an old friend.

Collapsing on the sofa to watch a film for a little while, (at least it will prove you've lived today) you recall your mate saying 'Death by Duvet' was a good film............. 

At 2.30am you wake with a crick in your neck and some random midnight Shopping Channel is playing the TV. You've no idea what happened in the film and now you're feeling cold and disorientated. What the f*&@ happened to my life? I can't keep doing this! Wearily you climb the stairs and slide under the duvet.

Oh no.... here we go again.....the mind's so loud. 3.30am!!! 4.30am!!!! STOP!!!!! I need to get up in 2 hours!

Many men go through similar cycles, living lives of quiet desperation. Wondering what to do to help themselves. They've noticed their children's behaviour has also become erratic, they're not sleeping and seem to argue and cry a lot. Scared to tell anyone incase they appear weak, or somehow less than a man, they hide their pain. Memories of being laughed at or ridiculed as a boy for crying and being told to 'Man Up' play heavily on their mind.


You can release the limiting beliefs and painful emotions that are keeping you stuck. You can empower yourself and regain control of your life.

Watch my FREE Masterclass 'Discover the 5 Shifts to Emotional Wellbeing for Single Fathers.' If it resonates with you then book a Complimentary Connection Call with me and let's have a chat.