Other People’s Onions

Other people's opinions become our onions

As we grow we learn what we're supposed to do, should do, shouldn't do, can't do, can do, must do and mustn't do, in order to satisfy other people!!! We begin to live according to other people's opinions (oPInions). Or, as I like to call them, other people's onions!!! We believe their Perspective supersedes our Intuition, and when we live based on other people's opinions instead of our own intuition it usually ends in tears.

Our tears, pain and inner sorrow are an effect of not living our truth. They are not a cause. So, now I'd like to ask you a controversial question. 

Is an affair a cause or an effect? 

It has taken many years of personal growth and self development to reach a level of observation and understanding about this topic. When you are caught up in the emotional tornado of any situation it is almost impossible to see things objectively. Deciphering the cause and effect in any situation is not easy when you are in the eye of the storm. Often much healing and soul searching is required before your can observe objectively.

When we meet someone we're physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually attracted to we feel young, alive and have a spring in our step, no matter what age we are. We feel the energy of love, joy, imagination and adventure we did as a child. We're open to trying new things, we feel courageous and have boundless energy. We can still get up for work after a night of passion, laugh at ourselves and look to the future with optimism. We feel unstoppable.

Over time if the relationship becomes strained we may no longer feel on the same wave length. The love, joy and happiness we felt projected from our partner has dwindled and it feels something has been lost. Energetically our partner is reflecting a disconnection we are feeling with ourself. 

Our deepest human desire for love and acceptance from what we believe is outside of ourselves draws us to find a new love. An affair is an effect, caused by the disconnection between our human and spiritual selves. The thing we are really seeking is love and worth within us, and we wrongly gave our partner responsibility to fulfil this. An affair may cause the tears but the real issue goes much deeper. While we look to others to meet a need within us we are at the mercy of other people's onions.


Whether you are the one who has cheated, or the one who has been cheated on, there are no winners in a situation like this. There is no right or wrong. At some point, everyone has to take 100% responsibility for their part.

Blame creates an invisible mental and emotional prison in our mind and heart, and hands someone else the key. Accepting you are 100% responsible for everything you experience in this life is a really hard thing to do when you are in deep pain, confusion and sadness. Yet it is the bravest, most courageous step any human can take to find the love, acceptance and freedom they truly desire.

How do I know? Because I have been there. I have been on both sides of the fence and I have also coached many people through their emotional pain. I can promise you, hand on heart, that the only way to free yourself is to find the root of the disconnection within you. 

When did you give up being you? The journey back to you can sometimes be painful and at times it can feel overwhelming. That is why you should never do it alone.

Are you allowing other people's onions to make you cry? Are you ready to reconnect with the you that loves life, has boundless energy and a desire to be the person your heart knows you are? 

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