Who am I

Do you really know yourself?

Have you ever stopped to think whether you really know yourself? I'm not talking about what coffee you like to drink or your favourite football team. I'm talking about knowing the real you. The you that exists when everything else is gone. 

You've made it through another day, the kids are finally asleep and you slump into bed exhausted. As you lay your head on your pillow at night what thoughts, feelings, beliefs, assumptions and questions about life flood your mind now they finally have space to be heard? 

This wasn't how it was supposed to be! Who am I? I have no idea what I'm doing? As I mentioned in my last blog, when the image of the beautiful life you thought you were going to live has broken into a million piece, what do you do?

According to Earl Nightingale who wrote 'The Strangest Secret in the World,'  (click the link to listen) the one thing most men don't do is think. Really think! He says most men have a dream when they're young, but few follow through on their dreams because they learn to conform. So what's my point? 

Giving up our dreams and listening to the myriad of limiting beliefs we've accumulated through life can cause us to slowly withdraw from our relationships, our work, our children, ourselves. We emotionally check out of life and wonder why things go wrong. We don't know who we are anymore. It isn't until we hit a major crisis like divorce, separation or bereavement that we begin to realise we are lost and need to change. But how? Where do you start?

You become what YOu think about!

Your subconscious doesn't care what thoughts you plant. It will grow what you sow just as the soil will grow the seeds you plant. It doesn't care whether they are weeds or flowers. When we stop focusing on our dreams and what we want, we unconsciously give negative thoughts room to take hold.

What thoughts have you accepted as true for you? Just because you believe them, does it mean they are truth? Absolutely not.

If your beliefs were absolute truth everyone would think them. Simply looking at the way government elections unfold shows how very differently people view the world. When it comes to the minutiae of our individual lives things are even more unfathomable. We are all unique and experience life differently. When we're lost in our own negativity, we think others think the same as us. News Flash!! They don't. 

What thoughts or beliefs have you accepted as true are keeping you stuck? Do you believe talking about your feelings is weak? Awareness and understanding your feelings, being able to express them, be creative, go with the flow and enjoy life again is what some describe as 'getting in touch with your feminine side.' Does it emasculate you? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

A male friend shared his feelings and fears with me from when he was a young single father. In his own words, 'the sheer terror, panic and feelings of inadequacy' were immense. How do you stop a baby crying? What do I do? I need to soldier on. Thoughts steeped in generational beliefs about what it means to be a man are crippling.

It was interesting to realise his feelings as a young single father and mine when I was a young single mother we very similar in many ways. Many have been led to believe being a single parent makes you are somehow 'less than.' Whether you've been taught this or just subconsciously picked it up throughout your life doesn't matter. The fact you assume asking for help is a sign of weakness is not serving you or your children. 

In the trenches soldiers were expected to cover each others backs. Once the war was over surviving men were sent back into civilian life with little emotional support. The belief that they had to be tough, strong, silent was subconsciously passed on to their children.  Boys became men who were afraid to express their feelings without always understanding why. Life has changed. Society has changed thankfully and today we are recognising the importance of expressing our emotions for our mental and physical health.

In my next blog I will share with you some interesting information about thoughts and vibration. If you are a man, trying to find your way through the emotional labyrinth of single parenthood then Book a Connection Call and let's have a chat. If you don't do it for you, do it for your children and the generations in your family line that will come after you. When you empower yourself, understand who you really are, reconnect with your dreams, you will create a ripple effect of self empowerment in the same way our forefathers created a ripple effect through to our generation today.