Emotional pain is a feeling deep within us that we often try to bury. Why? Have memories of being told ‘He/She just needs a few minutes alone’ embedded the belief that expressing negative emotion in public was not done in polite society? As discussed in a previous blog many of us have experienced those occasions when someone or something lights the blue touch paper and BAM!!!
The pain comes flooding out. Like a mist that suddenly envelops us from the inside out, our mask drops and for a few seconds, minutes or hours we are plunged into a pit of despair. The energy release is tremendous leaving you feeling exhausted, rudderless and overwhelmed. Beyond words, reasoning and logic all you can do is SCREAM! There is nothing left but an all consuming feeling of pain! 🙁
What can you do when that stabbing in your heart is out of control?
It is distressing to see family and friends suffering and there doesn’t seem to be anything you can to do. Healing emotional pain is a journey we have to take alone, but what you can do is listen. Ask them what happened. Allow them to talk and express their feelings when they are ready.
How do I know this? I am not a doctor or a nurse? I am not a mental health professional or a psychiatrist. I know because I have felt that pain. I have sat in a heap trying to scream the pain away because I was beyond words. At the time I did not want anyone near me. I did not want sympathy, a hug, a cup of tea or to be distracted. I wanted to scream it out. I needed to scream it out.
Only after the surge of energy had passed was I able to think logically again. Only then could I listen. Only then could I speak. How on earth did I find myself in such deep sorrow? How had my life become so painful? How had I lost myself? We all feel loss at 100% no matter what the cause.
Putting a Plaster on it
What could I do? Nothing it seemed! So I gradually picked myself up and carried on. Little did I know or understand then how much grief had accumulated in my heart. Even as it rushed through my body like an invisible forcefield I still did not know there was anything I could do to help myself.
Fast forward another 10 years and there I was again, and 5 years after that again! Screaming, crying, frustrated, hurting. To most of the outside world I looked ok. I smiled and nodded in all the right places but the pain in my heart was immense. What the f***!!!!!
I began to withdraw. I realise now this was the beginning of a long path of self discovery. Starting around 2012 I stepped out in the direction of my own dreams. I needed to change. I wanted to change. I was ready to change. I was like a woman possessed, searching, searching. Who am I? One step at a time up hill and down dale I went. I had to find a way to be free of this now repetitive emotional turmoil.
Things were getting better but something was still blocking me and finally I agreed to do the Grief Recovery Method with Phyl Edmonds, a personal friend and mentor. I’d refused to do it previously because I didn’t want to start digging up the past. Fear of the unknown had kept me stuck.
Ping! Ping! Ping! The lights went on!
I knew within a week that I wanted to train as a Specialist. It took another two years before I could do this but I got there. The last hurdle was the Advanced Training so I could also help clients online, which coincided perfectly with my creative business plans too.
With mental health services within the NHS stretched to breaking point everyone is having to rethink their approach to emotional and mental self care. No one is immune to loss, heartache and pain in this life. But there is a way through it that I wish I had known about years ago. The Grief Recovery Method is the only evidence-based program proven to help you move beyond the pain of loss, no matter what the cause.
There are amazing people all around the UK and the world who are trained to take you through the Grief Recovery Method and absolutely all of them have been through the program themselves after suffering their own losses. We are self-employed practitioners so yes there is a cost for our time and expertise but the benefits far, far out way this. Please reach out if you want to arrange a no obligation chat. There is no need to suffer alone any more.
Call or message Sandra on 0781 361 2955 to arrange a no obligation chat to find out how the Grief Recovery Method can help you.