Time does not heal

When we’re upset and in emotional pain due to a loss event in our life, well-meaning friends, family or work colleagues may say things like, “Give it time.” “Time is a great healer.” ” Time changes everything.”

These sort of statements, although well intended, actually do nothing to invoke a sense of relief. Anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one, divorce or any other estrangement, knows all too well that time does not heal. As the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and eventually years pass, we can still feel the pain deep within our hearts unless we have been given the opportunity to release it.

You may do a first class job of covering up your feelings to spare friends and family who want to believe you are feeling better. Now time has passed you want to show signs of recovery. So you bury the pain.

Physical responses

Yet without warning the smell of a perfume, the sound of ‘your song’, the sight of a couple holding hands or children playing and the silent tears fall. Someone ‘presses the wrong button’ and anger spills out, like the Tasmanian devil you are caught up in a whirlwind of emotion and the sideways glances and whispers ask, “What’s up with her/him?”

You struggle to push the pain deeper hoping eventually it will be so far down that no one will ever know it is there….. and then one day you visit the GP for a constant nagging pain in your gut, your head or your back!

In ‘When the Body Says No,’ Gabor Mate discusses the way mind and body work together. When you suppress the powerful emotional energy of grief it will often find another outlet. Like keeping the lid on a pressure cooker things will eventually explode.

Why Grief Recovery?

The Grief Recovery Method is practical, educational and a tool you can use for the rest of your life. It is something you can teach your children and grandchildren. By helping yourself you can potentially help generations to come as your knowledge is passed from mother to daughter, father to son.

The Grief Recovery Method has and is helping thousands of people find peace after loss. In my own practice I have witnessed time and time again the sense of relief people feel at finally being able to express bottled up emotions in a safe, confidential and non-judgmental environment.

We are physical, spiritual, emotional and mental beings. When one area of our being is upset all the other areas suffer too. How often do we say things like, “I’m so angry, I have a splitting headache, leave me alone, I can’t think straight.”

Dis-ease is created when we don’t allow ourselves to express emotional pain. Inside we are hurting (Spirit). Something seemingly unrelated triggers an angry reaction (Emotion). The rush of chemicals and tension in the brain create pain (Physical). Physical pain interferes with out ability to focus (Mental).

I’m fine

How often do you say, “I’m fine” when actually you want to scream? A good acronym for ‘fine’ is Feelings Inside Not Expressed!

The Grief Recovery Method can help you express those painful emotions that were never said or maybe never hear. You will be listened to with dignity and respect, without criticism, judgment or analysis. If this blog post resonates with you in any way, please, please reach out to someone.

I can be contacted on sandra@grmspecialist.uk or telephone 0781 361 2955. You can visit my Grief Recovery Profile by following the link below.