Week 10 I’ve got a Dream
So what happened?
The objective of this blog is to record with honesty and integrity my progress through the MKMMA. So to be honest I have found myself somewhat distracted and unfocused this week.
After 10 weeks of intensive reading and mental exercises I would expect to be finding things easier, and although I know without any doubt that I am soooo much further along the path to my new reality than I was, my mind still fights……. Undoing 50 years of habit, conditioning and belief systems is hard work! I am reminded of my nana…. after we moved house to a new area, she would drive back to our old house to get her bearings so she could drive to her intended destination. As children we laughed at her funny way of thinking.
Did starting her journey from a place she knew well bring comfort? security? Why didn’t she just get out the road map? (This was pre- SatNav’s!)
It made me think about what is it that drives us to do the things we are familiar with, and shy away from the unfamiliar? Why are 10 weeks of exercises still not sufficient to prevent my thoughts from slipping, despite knowing I’m on a better path? I have written out a Definite Major Purpose (a plan of what I would like to achieve in life), and I understand the purpose of all the exercises. Am I really still afraid of the Golden Spirit that is inside, or, because we did not have a Webinar this week, is it just my ‘Old Blueprint’ (my previous mindset/thinking) making it’s presence felt, trying to convince me I am not up to the job on my own?
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO………….
“I was not delivered unto this world in defeat, nor does failure course in my veins.” (Mandino)
I’ve got a Dream!
We all have dreams, but so many of us do not pursue them. Why? Are we afraid of failing, of looking foolish, of losing what we have, of being criticised, afraid of……………….everything?
In ‘The Alchemist’ we read the story of the Merchant and the Shepherd. Both have dreams but a small difference in their thinking creates very different outcomes for each.
“You dream about your sheep and the Pyramids, but you’re different from me, because you want to realize your dreams. I just want to dream about Mecca. I’ve already imagined a thousand times crossing the desert, arriving at the Plaza of the Sacred Stone, the seven times I walk around it before allowing myself to touch it. I’ve already imagined the people who would be at my side, and those in front of me, and the conversations and prayers we would share. But I’m afraid that it would all be a disappointment, so I prefer just to dream about it.” (The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho)
Is that it? Am I afraid the reality of my dream will be a disappointment? Or deep down do I just doubt my ability to create the life I have imagined?
For goodness sake what a load of BS!!!!!! So………. myself and I had a quiet word !!!!!!!!!
I pulled myself together…….and decided to contact someone (a stranger I might add) that I had been afraid to contact regarding a small business idea I had over a year ago out of fear of rejection. And………guess what?…… they said Yes!……Only took me 12 months!!!! Jeepers!!!!
I guess you could say I had reached that inevitable fork in the road. I took a right turn and ‘Boom’ as I took one step towards my dream, my dream took one step towards me.
Ok, so now I’m on a roll, ha ha…… I emailed someone else (another total stranger) to ask if they would be willing to give me some advice on another idea I’ve been mulling over. Again I received a prompt, positive, helpful response and was invited to contact them anytime if I had any more questions! What have I learnt this week? Most fears are unfounded. People are generally nice, helpful, generous and kind. When you give more you get more just like Mark J says in his blog ‘Very odd feeling Indeed’
So that’s one step back and two steps forward after all………feeling proud of myself……